This is the dawning of the age of austerity but frugal Saturn's saved up 61 moons in its collection. So therefore it stands to reason that there are favourable money aspects this month for you Aquariuses. Here's the idea: Invest in a large lump hammer from Hollybush stores (12.99) and smash all the pound coins out of all the trolleys outside Sainsburys. Here's the deal: There are 97 of them so a profit of 85 +1p is yours for the taking. Go directly across the street to Wetherspoons and drink cheap booze and smoke Lambert and Butlers until your face looks like an old hessian bag full of mashed Beetroot - Happy days.

CAPRICORN

Because Neptune takes 164.8 years to orbit the Sun it gets so bored it could puke. So as light relief, it has decreed that spontaneous behaviour is set for you Capriquarians on Friday morning; you will dance with the big issue woman outside Blockbuster until she's so massively pissed off that you have to bung her 20 quid.

An important decision will also need to be made on the 17th of a month, so make sure you go and find something important to make a decision about before whenever that is.

SAGITTARIUS

Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, will forcibly enter Pisces this month making this sign the zodiac's favoured fish for all things romantic. Coupled with greatly increased lunation from an adventurous new moon which invites everyone to expand their horizons. Experiment with Homosexuality or Lesbianism on the 21st in the Library, anywhere but the kids section up the end.